Nam-chin and I have been dating for roughly a year now. I say "roughly" because his time line of when we went official is different from my time line of when we went official.
It'd been around this time last year that my friend came to visit me in Korea. It'd also been my second year working in Korea, and up to that point, I hadn't had much success in finding a Korean guy with whom I was interested in coupling up with. Sure there were a few hook-ups, but nothing ever went beyond oral because of the following reason:
The first year was spent getting over the ex (whom I'd broken up with during my first week or so of moving into a brand new country and culture), so that took a while for me to get over, especially since the ex was what others might call my "first true love" (gag, gag).
By the time I met Nam-chin, I was ready for a new relationship, and I was especially ready for lots and lots of sex. Before Nam-chin, I'd only been interested in making out with other Korean guys or feeling them around with my mouth.
One thing you should know about Nam-chin, he's 10 years my age. That made him extra sexy when we first started talking, even though I'd never dated older guys before (but had been casual with a few). I don't consider myself a daddy-chaser, but older men tend to be more mature, and I find maturity to be very sexy. He also doesn't like being referred to as a daddy, and neither do I, but when I'm trying to push his buttons, I'll let a few age gap jokes fly.
The first night that Nam-chin and I met, we had sex (oral). Amazing oral sex. He payed a lot of attention to my body, something which I found to be lacking in the younger Korean guys that I had hooked up with before. And when we kissed, that's also how I knew I was ready for a relationship with him. It was very passionate, and it left me wanting more.
The issue was: Nam-chin had just gotten out of a 10-year relationship and wasn't looking for anything serious. I was, but I agreed to keeping it casual. I figured I would lure him in with my charm, wit, cooking, and looks.
For the whole month of December, we met regularly, and he would spend the night at my place regularly as well.
I wasn't satisfied after all. I wanted exclusivity. I brought it up a few times and he kept saying he wanted to keep things casual. Finally one day I told him if it'd be OK if I met with other men, since we're not official. He hesitated but agreed. It wasn't the answer I was looking for, but I did meet with other men (just dates, nothing sexual besides a sweet kiss with a college student).
A few weeks after asking him that, we were laying in bed and he brought up our relationship status again. He said I could introduce him as my boyfriend, especially since we already act as a couple. But by now I had gotten quite comfortable with keeping it casual and was now hesitant.
Obviously we made it exclusive shortly after that, and it's helped to shape me further as a gay dating man.
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